I was recently talking to a friend of a friend who likes to psychoanalyze people. He got me pretty spot on, but just on a very superficial level. He observed that I travel the world, mostly alone, and like a lot of people, he was simultaneously impressed and troubled by this.
In one of my conversations with him, he expressed concern that I donāt seem to have a clear plan for my future. Others have expressed similar things, whether it be readers, perfect strangers, or quasi-friends.
(My best friends and family members know that I donāt operate on plans, so they donāt ask.)
Maybe you are reading this because people ask you that question, too. And each time you get it, youāre like, āI donāt know!ā, but also have this odd feeling that maybe they are right. Like maybe you should have a plan. This uncomfortable thought definitely crosses my mind.
But I currently donāt, and I never will have a five-year plan. That doesnāt mean that Iām living irresponsibly and not saving up for the future, I am. But these are two different things.
Five-year plans are just mental insurance. Itās a way for people to feel good and secure without actually having any of that security whatsoever. When people have a plan, they think that means they know what will happen. This is just phantom security. Allow me to explain:
The ripple/butterfly effect

First, a story about a little something that blows my mind every now and then.
In November 2012 I met a girl named Yvonne in Chang Mai. The circumstances around why we were both free that night and why were both in Chang Mai when neither of us actually lives there are already random, crazy, and completely serendipitous.
We kind of knew that each other existed because of Twitter. We both happened to be using the service that night, realized we were in the same place, and decided to meet up.
Because she was wearing a shirt that showed off her back a bit, I happened to notice her tattoo and asked her about it. That is when she told me about the magical monk tattoo that she was going to get the following month. I ended up going with her, getting the same tattoo, and having an experience that bound us together as close friends ever since then. I actually only came to Berlin the first time to visit her. I fell in love with the city and decided to move here.
It is through a few of her contacts that I was able to get work during the first few months that I lived here, and I got me through one of the leanest times of my blogās earnings. It is completely conceivable that I might not have made it through without that help.
Now Iām a resident of Germany, have even fallen in (and back out of) love with people whom Iāve met through her, and a lot of my friends are people who I have met through her friendship. A few of them she doesnāt even know, but one friendship led to another, and to another.
So basically, this one chance encounter changed my life. What if she hadnāt been in Chang Mai? What if she hadnāt worn a shirt that showed off her tattoo for goodness sakes? Where would I even be? What would I be doing?
The point of all of that is, you absolutely can never know who will come floating into your life, and conversely, who will go floating back out of it. Even small, seemingly insignificant encounters have the power to change everything, and you just canāt plan for that.
Rigid plans just cause stress
I feel like a lot of the reason why people ask me about my five year plan is because they are worried about their own future. It is really hard for them to understand the mindset of someone who just wings it.
The way I live my life does not fit any kind of mold that they understand. But honestly, if I made a five-year plan and things started to go in another direction, that could cause me a lot of stress.
Do I believe that I should be actively contributing to my retirement accounts? Of course I do. Do I think that I need to have goals? Absolutely. Do I think that it is healthy to say that I have to have two children and be in the exact career that I want within the next five years? No, that kind of pressure really isnāt for me.
Think about it, are you even the same person that you were five years ago? Do you even want the same things that you wanted back then? How in the world can you know what the person who you become in five years will want? Sorry to be morbid, but how can you even know that youāll still be around by then?
On living for today
My inherent problem with a five-year plan is that it suggests that what we are doing right now is not beneficial enough, that there must be something more.
Iām addicted to the possibility of more just like everyone else, but I also think it is important to acknowledge that where I am right now is really good. If where you are right now is not good, donāt wait five years to change it, do something now.
Buddhists say the clearest path to peace and contentedness is to be in the moment as much as possible. Itās about mindfulness. So often we remember things as sweeter than they were because in the moment that we experienced them we were actually stressing about the past or worrying about the future. Mindfulness is something that takes a lot of practice and ability and itās a lifetime goal in itself, really.
That said, those moments of flow, when we are in the moment, are so pleasurable because itās all about living for right now. This is yet another reason why planning for something so far in the future just doesnāt seem to make much sense to me. How can we plan for a time of flow, a Eureka! moment, a stroke of genius, or a random job offer we never saw coming?
Instead of this 5-year, phantom security plan, might I suggest that instead of worrying about the future, to just trust in the journey? Know that you will figure things out if and when you need to. In a pinch, believe in your ability to pull through. Know that adversity does, in the end, typically make us stronger and more capable people.
So that is my long-winded answer to whether or not I have a five-year plan. No, I do not, and I donāt think that I ever will.
I will, however, to leave the door open for randomness, serendipity, and the potential to tap into possibilities that exist beyond my front door. that is my life plan.
Maricel says
I totally agree! 5-year plan is just too much..We should make a 4.5-year plan instead š lovely wind-blown hair pic btw.
Michelle says
I thought this was a travel blog? š
I love this.
Youāve just lifted a weight off my shoulders⦠that I didnāt even know was there.
So much pressure on ourselves to be, and do, all these things. Yet the best parts of life (like meeting your friend Yvonne) canāt be planned or a goal.
Kristin says
Traveling involves a lot more than just in the physical sense, and I think that so much of peopleās decisions to travel and change their lives have to do with the fear that itāll ruin their 5-year plans. Plus, as a writer, I donāt limit myself. This is a lifestyle blog more than anything. Glad that you liked the post!
Michelle says
Oh I agree with you! I realized after I posted that comment that my sarcasm probably didnāt translate. :-O I am a kiwi, after all. š
And Iām very happy to see the plethora of posts youāre posting now. Thanks!
Kristin says
Haha no problem š
Rachel Elizabeth says
Your story about Yvonne really resonated with me. Itās crazy to think about all these chance encounters and how they impact our lives, making rigid plans obsolete or irrelevant. Loved the post. I have some major control issues myself and know Iād be a far happier person if I didnāt think about āthe planā so much. Thank you. š
Kristin says
Itās really hard not to think about the future and what it could hold, so I understand stressing and honestly I do it too.
Ashley Fleckenstein says
I really enjoyed this post, Kristin ā what a refreshing perspective! I definitely waste a lot of time trying to plan the next 5 years, which of course, is pointless. I think the five year plan is just a security blanket for most of us ā itās scary to admit that we ultimately have little control over what happens to us.
Kristin says
Exactly my feeling. You just never know who youāll meet and what might happen that could change everything, so why stress?
Heather says
I can never plan for longer than a year in advance, and even then, my itinerary is pretty fluid. Lifeās like that, so why resist?
Kassie says
Love this post! Iām type A and a commitment-phobe at the same time, so I really struggle with this one. Every part of me wants makes plans and then I continuously deviate from them because of the butterfly effect you mentioned. On some level I totally agree with you and as I grow older Iāve started to let go of those tendencies to want to have complete control. Maybe someday I can eliminate the plan all together š
Kristin says
I understand wanting to have a plan and being in control. If only life worked that way! Then again, whereās the fun in that?
Dawson says
You nailed it girl, so many people live their lives with blinders on and never take chances or experience life itself and the possibilities that could be awaiting them. Live, Love, Help and imagine everything in life to the fullest, keep living the dream girl š
Image Earth Travel says
Great post! Iāve never had a 5-year plan and still donāt!
I first solo-backpacked around the world in 1985 when everyone thought I was mad but this experience cemented my addiction. Since then, Iāve always worked to travel and still doing this in my ā50s ā Iāve never stopped really.
This trip has been the longest without a ājobā as we left Aus over 27 months ago, still on the road, and no end in sight. Thereās definitely not a hint of a plan; my partner and I make it up along the way. I love the spontaneity and random people you meet when travelling this way. I doubt it would be the same with a regimented planā¦life is not like that! š
Kristin says
How cool I would have loved to travel back then before ubiquitous wifi made traveling a bit less social!
Carly says
Love, love, love this post!!
I definitely donāt have a five year plan and find it hard to even plan more than a few months ahead, lol. Some of friends find that confronting and feel Iām drifting but in reality Iām waiting for things to unfold. To be able to grab those wonderful, random opportunities.
And Iām really working on living in the now and also starting to understand my life doesnāt have to be the typical, perhaps conventional, married with two kids kinda lifeā¦ā¦ā¦.not an easy thing when youāre in your late 30s!!
Kristin says
Totally understand that and I feel that way too sometimes, but I would also way rather live my dream than someone elseās impression of what a girl my age should be doing.
Ijana says
Yes everything about this post! I used to always have a 5 year plan drawn up, mostly for fun because I loved thinking of things I eventually wanted to do, but the plan changed every few weeks and now I donāt even bother anymore. I think often those plans let people give themselves permission to wait on doing the things they really want to do, because ātheyāll get to in in year 3ā or something like that. But then life doesnāt work out that way and they never get around to doing itā¦
Simone says
I am absolutely with you on this one!