Powered by Self Love with Sarah Sapora Sarah Sapora

Is your confidence UNSHAKABLE? Do you believe, down to your core, that you are worthy and valuable and have every ability to kick ass at life? If you’re nodding “Hell yes” that's awesome! If not, take a deep breath because you aren’t alone. At any given time, 85% of people admit they struggle with self-confidence and, roughly the same number of adults admit to having low self-esteem. In this episode we’re getting real about, what I refer to as, the Holy Trinity of Self-Love and that is the ability to have self-confidence, self-worth, and self-esteem.

These things sound the same but are totally different. So we’re breaking it down without the fluffy “woo speak” so you can understand what each of these is, what they are NOT, and why self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-worth matter if you’re going to live a liberated life on YOUR terms. Let’s do this

Topics we’re chatting about include:


Self-Worth: This is the deep-seated acknowledgment of your inherent value as a person, deserving of love and respect.


Self-Confidence: This is the belief in your ability to succeed at specific tasks.


Self-Esteem: This is your personal evaluation of your own worth, often influenced by comparisons with others.


My Personal Path to Self-Discovery: I opened up about my own struggles with these concepts, particularly as I approached my 40s. Despite others seeing me as confident, I was a champion people-pleaser without a true sense of self. My journey to self-love began with the realization that I had been seeking external validation instead of cultivating my own sense of worth.


The Role of the Trinity in Self-Love: Cultivating self-worth, self-confidence, and self-esteem is essential for taking control of our lives. These elements enable us to leave unhealthy relationships, pursue our dreams, and feel deserving of success. They're not static; they can be strengthened or challenged over time, and we can actively work on improving them.


Tools for Self-Reflection and Growth: I provided resources, including the Rosenberg self-esteem scale and the contingencies of self-worth scale, along with reflective questions to help you assess your levels of self-worth, self-confidence, and self-esteem. These tools encourage introspection and are a starting point for personal growth.

Timestamps


01:14 - Starting Point: The Basics of Self-Love


01:57 - Sarah's Personal Journey of Self-Discovery


02:49 - Realizing the Need for Self-Awareness


03:52 - The Confusion Between Confidence and Self-Knowledge


04:36 - The Gap Between External Perception and Self-Perception


05:39 - Introducing the Holy Trinity of Self-Love


06:00 - The Interplay of Self-Esteem, Confidence, and Self-Worth


07:59 - Defining Self-Esteem: Your Sense of Value


09:35 - Tools for Assessing Self-Esteem


11:00 - Exploring Self-Worth: Beyond Self-Esteem


13:09 - Characteristics of High Self-Esteem


14:47 - Self-Worth vs. Self-Esteem: Understanding the Difference


16:03 - The Self-Worth Theory: Ability, Effort, and Performance


18:10 - Common but Questionable Sources of Self-Worth


20:07 - Reflecting on Your Own Self-Worth


21:10 - Defining Self-Confidence: Belief in Abilities


22:36 - Self-Confidence vs. Self-Esteem: A Critical Distinction


23:07 - Summary: The Relationship Between the Three Concepts


24:10 - Sarah's Example: Interconnection of Self-Concepts


27:58 - The Necessity of Balancing All Three for Self-Love


29:02 - Mention of Resources and Upcoming Deep Dives

How do you feel about your fat body? This can be a sticky topic for anyone, let alone someone who has felt negative stuff about their weight in the past.  This (super-nuanced) episode is Part TWO of a series discussing the ideas of fatness so that people of all sizes can be empowered to pursue body liberation on their terms. If you've ever hated your body, you're not alone. But hating your body won't make you happier. It's time to change that. This podcast does not want you to be fat and it does not want you to lose weight - this podcast wants you to learn where your shitty ideas about your body come from so that YOU can figure out how YOU feel about YOUR BODY on YOUR TERMS.

Topics we’re chatting about include:


Personal Journey Sharing: I share my personal journey with you, from childhood diets to adult realizations, to illustrate the importance of separating our self-worth from others' opinions. It's about crafting a value system that's centered around what's unique and beautiful in us, rather than being pleasing to others.


Influences on Body Image: We explore the role of parents, media, and social media in shaping our body image. With the majority of influencers being much younger, it's crucial to question whether their perspectives truly resonate with our own experiences and challenges.


Fat Narratives in Media: The idea of the two main narratives are identified: proud fat individuals and those aching to be thin. How the harmful lack of nuance in these tropes has an impact on our self-perception.


Weight Shame and Weight Self-Stigma: I introduce the concepts of weight shame and weight self-stigma, which can deeply affect how we show up in our relationships and how we pursue our dreams. It's essential to recognize these feelings and understand that we can unlearn them to move forward in a more self-loving way.


Questions for Reflection

Timestamps:


00:00 - Intro: Questioning Self-Love and Worthiness
00:11 - The Struggle with Self-Worth and Confidence
00:31 - Episode Focus: Understanding Self-Worth, Confidence, and Esteem
01:03 - Future Episodes: Practical Strategies for Self-Love
01:14 - Starting Point: The Basics of Self-Love
01:35 - Host Introduction: Sarah's Background and Mission
01:57 - Sarah's Personal Journey of Self-Discovery
02:49 - Realizing the Need for Self-Awareness
03:52 - The Confusion Between Confidence and Self-Knowledge
04:36 - The Gap Between External Perception and Self-Perception
05:39 - Introducing the Holy Trinity of Self-Love
06:00 - The Interplay of Self-Esteem, Confidence, and Self-Worth
07:59 - Defining Self-Esteem: Your Sense of Value09:35 - Tools for Assessing Self-Esteem
11:00 - Exploring Self-Worth: Beyond Self-Esteem
13:09 - Characteristics of High Self-Esteem
14:47 - Self-Worth vs. Self-Esteem: Understanding the Difference
16:03 - The Self-Worth Theory: Ability, Effort, and Performance
18:10 - Common but Questionable Sources of Self-Worth
20:07 - Reflecting on Your Own Self-Worth
21:10 - Defining Self-Confidence: Belief in Abilities
22:36 - Self-Confidence vs. Self-Esteem: A Critical Distinction
23:07 - Summary: The Relationship Between the Three Concepts
24:10 - Sarah's Example: Interconnection of Self-Concepts
27:58 - The Necessity of Balancing All Three for Self-Love
29:02 - Mention of Resources and Upcoming Deep Dives

Fatness can be a heavy idea - how do YOU feel about it? This (nuanced) episode is Part One of a series discussing the ideas of fatness so that people of all sizes can be empowered to pursue body liberation on their terms. This first episode discusses ideas of fatness in society today, and breaks down the concepts of Body Positivity, Fat Acceptance, Fat Activism, Fat Liberation, Body Neutrality, and Body Liberation.

This series is particularly helpful for those living in larger bodies looking to unpack their weight shame and stigma so they may pursue what true body liberation looks like for themselves - whether that answer includes weight loss or advocating against diet culture.

This episode has no sociopolitical agenda! Its purpose is to educate and empower listeners to learn and think about ideas for themselves in order to embrace self-love and live a self-loving life



Our next episode will be our Part 2 and dig into our own feelings of weight shame and stigma.



Topics we’re chatting about in this episode include:


Self-Liberation: You have the power to liberate yourself from societal expectations and the internalized voices that have made you feel less-than because of your weight.


Understanding Fat-Related Ideologies: We explore ideologies like fat activism, body liberation, and weight stigma, breaking them down into understandable concepts.


Personal Journey: While today's focus is on societal views of fatness, the next episode will delve into the personal aspect, helping you reflect on your own relationship with your body.


Ground Rules for Discussion: This is a sensitive topic, and we approach it with respect for all viewpoints, emphasizing that the goal is to empower you to think critically about your own body image. Ground rules are:



No judgment on people's personal body choices


Understanding that we all have differentiating opinions and this is OK.


Separating body size from health in all discussions - and all bodies are deserving as they are. 



Diet Culture: We discuss how diet culture equates thinness with moral value and how it can be damaging to our self-perception.


Body Positivity: Originally a movement to empower fat bodies, body positivity has evolved to include all marginalized bodies, though it has been co-opted in some ways by mainstream media.


Fat Acceptance, Activism, and Liberation: These interconnected concepts advocate for societal change to eliminate bias against fat people, with each playing a unique role in the movement.


Body Neutrality: A concept that focuses on the body's function rather than its appearance, offering a middle ground for those who may not connect with body positivity.


Body Liberation: The ultimate goal, where we free ourselves from all external and internal expectations related to our bodies, embracing our inherent worth.



Timestamps:


00:00 - Introduction
01:44 - Podcast Overview and Personal Empowerment
04:14 - Establishing Three Ground Rules for the Discussion
06:24 - The Shift in Social Conversation Around Fat Experience Starting in the 80s and 90s
08:20 - The Rise of Body Positivity and Inclusivity and the Shift in Fatness Dialogue
10:49 - Introducing Key Fat-Related Concepts for the purpose of Self-Love
11:43 - Defining Diet Culture00:13:52 - Explaining Body Positivity
16:00 - Fat Acceptance, Activism, and Liberation
18:20 - Distinguishing Fat Acceptance from Activism
19:57 - The Role of Fat Activists and Activism
21:16 - The Goal of Fat Liberation
22:10 - Understanding the Facets of Fat Empowerment
23:47 - Personal Perspective on Fat Activism
24:09 - Clarifying the Focus of the Book "Soul Archaeology"
25:35 - The Difference Between Fat Self-Love and Self-Love
26:08 - Introducing Body Neutrality
27:22 - The Concept of Body Neutrality
28:27 - Defining Body Liberation
29:42 - Reflecting on the Information Presented
32:01 - Wrapping Up and Looking Ahead
33:57 - Closing Thoughts and N

Does the holiday season stress you out? If so, this podcast is for you! In today’s episode we’re taking a practical yet irreverent look at how to navigate the holiday season as self-lovingly as humanly possible. AKA how to NOT lose your sh*t! With relatable anecdotes and actionable tips, I’m reminding you that you have the power to navigate family gatherings, overwhelming responsibilities, and the pressure of gift-giving while staying true to yourself. From managing meltdowns to reframing triggered emotions, we’re talking tips and tactics to take control of your holiday experience and prioritize self-care. If you’re working to  embrace imperfection, set boundaries, and find joy in the midst of holiday chaos, this is an episode for you.



Topics we’re chatting about:


Embracing self-love and authenticity during the holiday season.


Navigating family gatherings and holiday stress without resorting to unhealthy coping mechanisms.


Differentiate between being 'triggered' and 'activated' during stressful situations.


Create a personalized holiday experience and devise a concrete plan to handle challenges. Understand the importance of self-care and forward planning during the holiday season.


Four concrete and practical strategies to navigate the holiday season. 


Understand the concept of a 'shit hits the fan' holiday toolkit, which includes a list of potential stressors and strategies to cope with them.


Understand the importance of advocating for oneself and strengthening the self-love muscle. 




Understand the value of practice and self-forgiveness when dealing with holiday stress


Discover the power of proactive living and self-love during the holiday season.



Working with your boundaries by using “boundary scripts.



Timestamps:


[00:00:00] Intro: Survive the holiday season with self-love.

[00:02:57] The big set up.

[00:05:21] The goal is to stay self-loving and stay YOU.  What this means and why it matters?

[00:07:26] Triggered vs Activated: Understanding the difference and why that matters.

[00:11:40] The difference between having a REACTIVE or a PROACTIVE experience in life.

[00:16:32] The importance of having a PROACTIVE holiday experience. Creating your Action Plan.

[00:18:42] Strategy One: Define what the holiday needs to be for YOU.

[00:22:00] Strategy Two: Give yourself the tools you need. 

[00:23:58] Four steps to make a toolkit to prepare for holidays.

[00:29:00] Strategy Three: Practice boundaries and use “boundary scripts” to set yourself up for success. 

[00:32:58] Practice self-forgiveness.



Visit my blog for downloadable worksheets mentioned this episode!

“Love yourself!” If I had a dollar every time someone screamed that on social media, I’d be rich. Here’s the thing, screaming “Love yourself!” isn't actually self-love. Nope! In today’s episode we’re getting real about what self-love actually is and what it isn’t. We’re busting the myths and straight-talking about self-love! This is the ONLY podcast you’ll ever need if you truly want to understand self-love in its most practical, real-world approach. 

Topics we’re chatting about:


What the heck is self-love, and why should we care?
Busting FIVE TRUTHS about self-love you need to understand.
Real-world examples of what may be self-love for some people but not self-love for others (Chatting about food, sex, and more!)
Concrete examples of applying self-love.
Unboxing the fact that self-love is a personal journey with no ‘one size fits all’ approach.
Reminding ourselves that the journey of self-love is ongoing - it’s okay to slip sometimes.
The importance of self-accountability.



I’ve done a gillion things in my life trying to feel more loved - and I bet you have too! Join me as we explore our own patterns and beliefs, unearthing our worth and embracing self-love like never before. It's time to let go of shame and treat ourselves with the love and compassion we deserve, my friends.

Self-love isn't just about pampering ourselves; it's about something greater. It's about serving ourselves and becoming the best versions of ourselves possible. In this episode, we'll dive deep into the definition of self-love, its importance, and learn how to cultivate it in our everyday lives. Buckle up and get ready for a ride of self-discovery!



I’ll also get real about how I’m using self-love right now (yes, right now!) to  navigate grief and overwhelming circumstances. Self-love starts with being honest about what is and isn't working in your life and what you truly desire. Let’s dig deep together! There's no quick and easy solution for self-love, but the journey is absolutely worth it.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:51 Random things I’ve done in my life to feel more loved.  Understanding shame and self-forgiveness and looking at our patterns. 

05:18 The definition of Self-Love. 

06:02 Self-love is any thought or action that helps us connect to our ultimate selves.

06:38 Prioritizing self-love over self-abandonment leads to a self-loving life and personal growth.

07:31 Self-love helps us stay aligned, prioritize our needs, and live life based on our values.

08:11 Self-love is a roadmap to understanding what is good for us and making positive changes.

08:43 With self-love as our guide, we can simplify the process of personal development and build self-trust.

09:09 Figuring out what Self-Love means for you.

16:17 Five Essential Truths about Self-Love. 

16:33 Truth one: Self love means different things to different people, based on their needs and desires.

19:14 Truth two: Self love is not always easy.

20:56 Truth three: Self love changes as we change.

22:01 Truth four: Self love isn’t the same as being busy.

22:43 Truth five: Self love is self accountability.

24:05 Question: How do I start practicing self-love when I have no idea where to begin?

Do you find yourself watching the same TV shows and movies again and again but have no idea why? Do you ever feel drawn to watching specific things when you feel hard or complex emotions? If so, I have an episode for you!

Today we’re taking a deep dive into the connection between self-love and our media consumption habits. I’m going to help you uncover your own coping patterns by sharing how my intense feelings for  Elliot Stabler and Godzilla - as  highlighted in my personal Freaking the F*ck Out Scale - correlate my emotional state with the TV and movies I want to watch. (Spoiler alert - when I hit the “braless, feral" stage of anxiety the only thing I want to watch is Mandy Patinkin in Homeland.)

From the comfort of our favorite TV shows to the solace found in parasocial relationships with fictional characters, I’m  exploring how our media choices can fuel our emotional needs and how coping can either perpetuate self-abandonment or contribute to our self-loving life. This episode is irreverent yet illustrates an important layer of our Soul Archaeology we can dig into to uncover a more empowered  and liberated life! 



Timestamps and Key Points 

01:25 - TV Shows and the Connection to Emotions

Understanding the connection between how we feel in our lives and the media that we consume and what TV and movie characters we are drawn to. I draw from my own pull towards Elliot Stabler, Godzilla, and Mandy Patinkin and my own “Freaking The F**k Out Defconn Scale” to correlate the connection between emotional discomfort and the need for using media as a tool for self-regulation.



08:33 - Understanding Coping Patterns in Self-Love

Exploring how coping is a part of life and how coping techniques we use can either be self-loving or a form of self-abandonment when dealing with hard emotions. 



13:37 - Coping With TV and Movies

Discussing TV and movies as a coping skill. How  social surrogacy and  parasocial relationships illustrate our need for comfort and belonging that we sometimes can only find in the media. Understanding the difference between coping mechanisms and coping skills.